Sunday, August 31, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Jokes
Pathan girl friend ko ghar Le gaya,
Sab darwaze khirkiyan band kardin,
Parde gira diye light off kar k us k pass aya aur kaha : dekho humara watch main light jalta hai.
~~~~~~~~~
Ek sardar ka 20 saal baad beta hua. Who udas hogaya.
2nd dost : yaar udas kyon ho?
Sardar: 20 saal baad beta hua tay "oh vi inna chota"
~~~~~~~~~
I asked Abhishek what is the difference between old Umrao Jaan and new Umrao Jaan?
Abhishek: nayi wali se apni setting hai. Aur old wali se papa ki.
~~~~~~~~~
Larka : hum 25 bhehan - bhai hain.
Larki : kiya aap k ghar family planning wale nahi aate?
Larka : aaye the school samjh kar vapas chale gaye.
~~~~~~~~~
Sab darwaze khirkiyan band kardin,
Parde gira diye light off kar k us k pass aya aur kaha : dekho humara watch main light jalta hai.
~~~~~~~~~
Ek sardar ka 20 saal baad beta hua. Who udas hogaya.
2nd dost : yaar udas kyon ho?
Sardar: 20 saal baad beta hua tay "oh vi inna chota"
~~~~~~~~~
I asked Abhishek what is the difference between old Umrao Jaan and new Umrao Jaan?
Abhishek: nayi wali se apni setting hai. Aur old wali se papa ki.
~~~~~~~~~
Larka : hum 25 bhehan - bhai hain.
Larki : kiya aap k ghar family planning wale nahi aate?
Larka : aaye the school samjh kar vapas chale gaye.
~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Rhymes in Punjabi
I- Original
'Pussy cat Pussy cat, where have you been?'
'I have been to London to see the Queen'
'Pussy cat Pussy cat what did you there?'
'I frightened a little mouse under the chair!'
Punjabi Translation:
'Mano Billi, Mano Billi, kithe gai si?'
'Rani Ji nu milan main vilayat gai si'
'Ki chan chareya tu othe ja ke?'
'Ghar wapis aa gai main chuhe kha ke!'
II – Original
'Baa Baa Black sheep have you any wool?'
'Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full
One for the master, one for the dame, And one for the little boy who lives down the lane.'
Punjabi Translation:
'Kali Bhed, Kali Bhed, hai kucch unn?'
'Haan bhai,Haan bhai, Tin pandan gin, Ek tere waste, ek teri woti lai Ek us munde lai jehra khara raste'.
III – Original
Humphty Dumphty sat on a wall,
Humphty Dumphty had a great fall,
All the kings' horses, all the kings' men Couldn't put Humphty Dumphty together again
Punjabi Translation:
Baba Karanil Singh baitha si Dukaan te'
Baba Karnail Singh diggya dhadam se, Pind de log phir aa ke kehan lagge, Baba Karnail Singh te gaya hun kaam se.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Good One To Laugh
1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.
2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption : Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD, After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :1. Tele-Phone2. Tele-Vision3. Tell to WomanNeed still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.
5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.Moral : BE SPECIFIC
6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.
7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.
9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.
11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.
12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for" - Albert Einstein
2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption : Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD, After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :1. Tele-Phone2. Tele-Vision3. Tell to WomanNeed still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.
5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.Moral : BE SPECIFIC
6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.
7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.
9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.
11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.
12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for" - Albert Einstein
Monday, August 4, 2008
Software engineer and his wife - funny
Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.
Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.
Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.
Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.
Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.
Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.
Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.
Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.
Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.
Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.
Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.
Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.
Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.
Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer
Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.
Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.
Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.
Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.
Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.
Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.
Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.
Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.
Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.
Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.
Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.
Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.
Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.
Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
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